★城裡的月光★

我發現有個小孩躲在我的公寓好幾週，而且我都不知道

P.S原文中有些髒話也照常翻譯，如不喜者請離開。

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媽的，我有時候滿邋遢的。

我把咖啡桌上那些滿出來的垃圾整理好扔出去，一次就有二十多個瓶瓶罐罐。

我有多全神貫注，你懂嗎？但我突然發現現在有比整理更重要的事要做。

反正我單身，不需要給誰留下好印象。

我做很多工作，常常在外頭工作，回到家都很累了。

我對自己的事常漫不經心的，但相反的，我覺得自己對工作很盡責。

事實上，如果不是我工作得那麼認真，這件事根本不會發生。

我根本無能為力，只覺得腦子一陣混亂。

我每天工作十二個小時，從早上10點到晚上10點。

我熱愛我的工作，它既寬鬆又有彈性，我可以抽出時間來發揮創意。

我該怎麼辦？剛剛講的都不是重點，

現在最要緊的是，在另一個世界，

也許攸關生死…或是什麼「寰宇搜奇」之類，我不了解的狗屁東西。

反正就是，當我不在家時，有一個小男孩住在我的公寓裡！！！

我甚至確定當我在家時，他也在那裡。

我想他是不是想像R.Kelly’唱的『被困在衣櫃』，我根本毫無頭緒。

這件事可能已經好幾個月了，至少有三週以上。

過程中有些蛛絲馬跡，但我最早發現的已經是三個禮拜前了。

第一個讓我疑心的是一罐失蹤的橘子汽水，是他拿走的，一定是他。

公寓超小又只有一間臥室，我怎麼樣都不可能把橘子汽水「放錯」位置。

我到處找遍了，在我拿到汽水並且注意到它消失之前，沒有任何人來過我家。

我敢發誓，我沒有喝那罐橘子汽水。

讓我注意的另一件事就是我的飲料比我預期得還快喝完。

我不敢想像他是不是趁我去廁所或是其他房間時偷喝掉的。

牛奶也比我平常還快喝完，這件事頗具深意，

現在…他是不是就在床底下看著我？還是在角落？或是衣櫃裡？

他是不是像Solid Snake一樣躲在我的柳條洗衣籃裡，等著我出門？

之前我門外的走廊曾出現過嘔吐物，但我想大多是附近的大學生幹的。

這傢伙真的沒有留下任何痕跡，所以當我發現時真的嚇了一跳，

我不會注意我常喝的汽水失蹤，要不是我不常喝橘子汽水，我根本就不會發現。

我想拿紙巾時，紙巾卻變少了，我將嘔吐物稍作擦拭後，地板上還殘留一些汽水。

我到衣櫃裡拿抹布，但經過浴室時，我注意到一條之前掛在洗衣籃上面的毛巾，

毛巾上的洞被籃子上的柳條卡住了，我握著它，並緊緊抓住沉重的洗衣籃。

當我掀起蓋子，裡面卻有個沒穿上衣的黑人男孩，大約四、五歲。

我他媽的嚇得尖叫出聲，他也跟著大叫。他尖叫的聲音比我的還恐怖，好像是「死定了」。

我慢慢地退出浴室並關上門，他則瑟縮在我的髒衣服裡。

當這種事發生了，你他媽的會怎麼做？我住在美國，所以我撥打了911。

我告訴他們我的公寓裡有個小男孩，而且我不知道該怎麼辦。

他們說他們會派警察過來，我又問這時間我該做點什麼。

他們問我他看起來是不是很友善，我讓他們用其他方式知道，因為這裡不太適合，

他們叫我要看緊他，並向我保證他只是無害的孩子。

他們問我在警察來之前是否要和他們保持通話，但我說我應該還好。

他們說的對，真的超怪的，但他畢竟只是個小男孩。

我走到浴室，敲了敲門，說了聲「哈囉？」

沒人回答。

我把門打開並且走了進去。

他還在那裡，還用我的衣服把自己給蓋起來。

「沒事的。」我平靜地說，然後我嘆了口氣。

他把頭從衣服堆和我最愛的牛仔褲中探出來偷看。

我微笑著看著他。他回以微笑，並開始大笑。

接著我聽見敲門聲，我告訴他在我起來幫警察開門時他得要坐好。

這個警察對我非常沒禮貌，一句問候也沒有，劈頭就問「那孩子在哪裡？」

我指向浴室，他就飛快走進去，我在其他房間就能聽見孩子的尖叫聲。

其中一個警員把那孩子像橄欖球般夾在手臂下，然後沒說半個字就從我的公寓離開。

我他媽的完全不知道今天發生了什麼事，我只能試著把它們打出來，流連在網路上，然後試圖忘掉。

後來我把一堆待洗的衣服放進我的秘密室友曾躲過的洗衣籃裡，

並在清洗前先檢查我最愛的牛仔褲的口袋，

裡面藏著一張彆腳的便條紙，上面寫著：我沒有喝那罐橘子汽水。

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原文：

Today I found a feral child that had been living in my apartment for weeks without me knowing...

Shit, I can be a slob sometimes. I clean up my spills and throw trash away, but once counted twenty bottles and cans on my coffee table before I did. I just get preoccupied, you know? I find more important things to do and then clean up all at once. I'm a single guy; I don't need to impress anyone.

I also work a lot. I'm often out and get home tired. I guess I'm lazy in regard to my own things, but otherwise I think I work pretty hard. In fact, this would have never happened if I wasn't working so much. It really has nothing to do with the fact I'm messy at all. I guess I was framing the landscape for ya, reader!

I had been working 12-hour days, from 10AM to 10PM. I loved it. It was lax and flexible and I was able to take time to be creative. What do I do? It doesn't matter. What matters was that schedule. In the world of another, it probably meant life or death... or some "world at odds" bullshit that I will never understand. There was a little boy living in my apartment when I wasn't there.

I'm even convinced he was there when I was, too. I picture something like R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" playing out in his mind with me totally unaware. It could have been going on for months, but it was at least 3 weeks. There were telltale signs along the way but the earliest one I noticed was three weeks ago.

That first odd thing that makes sense now was a missing can of orange soda. He took it. He so totally took it. There is no way I "misplaced" a can of orange soda in a tiny, one-bedroom apartment. I looked all over for that thing. No one had come over between the time I got it and the time I noticed it gone. I swear to you, I DID NOT DRINK THE ORANGE SODA.

Another thing I started noticing was my drinks finishing a little bit sooner than I had anticipated. I shudder to think of him sneaking up to my drink when I went to the bathroom or in another room. Milk went way faster than I ever drank it. That makes sense, now... But was he watching me from under the bed? Around the corner? In the closet? Was he hiding like Solid Snake in my hamper, waiting for me to leave?

There was vomit in the hall outside my door once, but I think it had more to do with the college kids nearby. He really left no trace of himself. It was amazing that I even found him. I was looking for something, let's just say it was the orange soda, and I bumped over a different can of soda that I had been drinking. It wasn't orange soda, I don't drink that very often.

I went to get paper towels but didn't have much. After wiping some up, there was still soda on the floor. I went to grab a rag from a closet, but walked by the bathroom and noticed a towel that had seen its last days atop the wicker hamper. A hole in the towel snagged the wicker as I grabbed it and hung on the heavy hamper.

I lifted the lid and inside was a shirtless black boy, about 4 or 5 years old. I fucking screamed as loud as I have ever screamed. He let out a noise, too. His sounded more like "the jig is up" than the sheer terror in my voice. I slowly backed out of the bathroom and shut the door as he cowered in my dirty clothes.

What the hell do you do when this happens? I live in America, so I dialed 911. I told them there is a child in my apartment and I don't know what to do. They said they would send the police and I asked what to do in the meantime. They asked me if he looked familiar and I let them know otherwise, and this was so very out of place. I was told to keep an eye on him and assured me he is just a harmless child.

They asked if I needed to stay on them phone with them until the police arrived, but I said I would be alright. They were right, it's weird as hell, but it is just a little boy. I walked over to the bathroom, knocked on the door, and said "Hello?" No answer. I opened in and walked in.

He was still there, covering himself in my clothes. "It's OK," I said calmly. Then I sighed. He peeked his head out of the clothes with my favorite jeans atop his head. I looked at him and smiled. He smiled back and then started to laugh. Then I heard a knock on the door. I told him to sit tight as I got up to let the police in.

The policemen were very rude to me and without a greeting they asked "where is the child?" I pointed toward the bathroom and they hurried in. The boy let out a scream I could hear from the other room. One of the two officers carried the boy under his arm like a football and they walked out of my apartment without saying a word.

I have no idea what the fuck happened today. I'm just trying to put this all together and goofing off online to try and forget. I put in a load of laundry that used to be the place my secret feral roommate hid in. I checked the pockets of my favorite jeans before I washed them, and there was a poorly written note. It read: I DID NOT DRINK THE ORANGE SODA.